CIA promises it has shut down secret prisons…

09Apr09

BBC NEWS | Special Reports | CIA shuts down its secret prisons.

The US has stopped running its global network of secret prisons, CIA director Leon Panetta has announced.

Our interviewers has confirmed that the CIA is sorry for telling a lie and will not keep secrets from you anymore. After being scolded by his mom, Leon looked at us in the eye and said “I’m sorry for telling a lie and I promise I won’t do it ever again.” When prompted for further comment (and after a long awkward silence), Mr. Panetta darted his eyes up at the ceiling said “the CIA no longer operates detention facilities or black sites.” We asked if he could provide us with any proof of this aboutface on the CIA’s part, to which Panetta replied “Of course the CIA isn’t operating secret detention facilities anymore, do you think I’d keep a secret like that from you, haven’t our many years of friendship led to any sort of trust, respect, understanding, gosh, I’m not your friend anymore.”

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